impatient

[fubar]

Re: impatient

normal parcel procedure pour moi - bare in mind my house is the first one on our road, so the first stop for the postie, usually about 6-7am.

me deep asleep, not expecting parcel until the next day... a knock on the front door at exactly the right frequency to trigger my internal "parcel alarm" - i instantly leap out of bed, fly out of the room in just my boxers, grab my dressing gown on the way past the bathroom, launch myself across the hall and down the stairs, howling "Just a secooooooonnnd!!!" like a screaming banshee, i can see the post-lady on the other side of the frosted glass at the front door, the red bag and blue shirt, attack the door handle like a rabid dog, realise its locked, swear loudly, mad supermarket-sweep round the kitchen looking for the "F**KING KEYS!!", ram the key into the door, it wont turn, its the wrong key, next key on the loop, it turns, i fling the door open like Jesus emerging from behind the stone of his tomb on easter sunday, postie is gone ("NOOOOO!"), I EXPLODE OUT THE DOOR IN BARE FEET, UNTIED DRESSING GOWN AND BOXERS, see her nearly at the bottom of the drive, HURTLE after her, dressing gown flailing behind me, dodging stones on the driveway in my bare feet "WAIT! Wait! I'm here!", she stops, turns, tuts loudly, hands me my measly package covered in hongkong/taiwan/chinese postage stamps, i drag my pen-equipped hand across her clipboard, she storms off in disgust, i hobble back up the drive, clutching my package like a new-born child, wrapping it inside my dressing gown and looking about furtively in case any of the neighbours saw this little drama occuring, my driveway is alot more painful to walk back up in barefeet now the adrenaline has faded. I get back in bed and usually leave the parcel on the pillow next to me as i go back to sleep for a while, so i can wake up next to it like a new lover or a christmas present. Which i then attack with a stanley knife after breakfast

Was just about to say the same thing....

[FireKnife]

Re: impatient

All my stuff goes to my work address. They know my hobby and know what I buy (other staff have real firearms in stores here, its all good) so no one worries about it and I get my stuff without waiting at home for it all.

So long as you explain why you are having mail delivered to work they should be fine with it, if not then get a better job :D

'FireKnife'

[stuar141]

Re: impatient

my home address is my work address i work for my self.

it would not be to bad if we had the same post man every and he came at the same time every day i would tell him to shove it throw the cat flap on the back door

[RayPeest]

I was mowing the lawn in the front garden and the bloody ups man somehow didn't see me and drive off as I was jogging towards the van waving then as he was going up the drive I ran behind the van so he stopped if he hasn't noticed me in the first place he must have freaked out a teenager in a vest all sweaty running after his van

[Hawke]

Re: impatient

My postie is brilliant. Knows where my shed keys are, drops stuff in there, note through the door. I've only had two RIFs delivered by him, and he was chuffed to bits with my M240 - he came and played in the garden with it. We've lived here for three years, and we bung him £20 each Christmas. It pays itself back in good service. Mrs H is off to Faslane soon on a two year draft, so that means more toys can get delivered at Chateau Hawke - as long as Postman Pat's allowed to play with them!

[RayPeest]

I also used to have a Royal Mail postman who was a good friend but one day a new postman turned up I asked where Peter was turns out he had a heart attack this one now I saw on the motorway he's possibly the worst driver I've evere seen