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tw@t's on the field .. :)

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  • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

    My walk this evening was from the car park. I am a retired old chap you know. (AlthoughI did go to the Dewerstone beforehand with the dog)
    Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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    • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

      That too is a pleasant if short walk.
      section 24 of the 1968 Act
      Supplying imitation firearms to minors
      1)It is an offence for a person under the age of eighteen to purchase an imitation firearm
      2)It is an offence to sell an imitation firearm to a person under the age of eighteen.

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      • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

        It's my age. Plus native bearers are difficult to come by these days.
        Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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        • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

          Morning men. Hope you slept well, and your Gentlemen's Gentlemen didn't ruin your kippers this morning. BT, have you finished with the paper? I fancy having a bash at the crossword.
          Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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          • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

            Ah Mr Hawke, Good Morning Sir!

            Tea is on the side and you have your own paper

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            • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

              Much obliged. Any sign of uncouth people speaking of unsporting behaviour? I find such things unspeakable y'know. I may be forced to WRITE A STERN LETTER.


              Funnily enough, as I finished typing that, a colleague put a mug of tea on my desk. You don't fancy typing "large bundle of used notes is on your desk" and see if it works again do you?
              Last edited by Hawke; 29 June, 2012, 10:15. Reason: Odd coincidence.
              Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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              • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                The notepad with the Club house's Headed paper is on the desk in the Library / Study old chap.

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                • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                  Yeah, thanks for that.

                  Have you any idea how much work I'm meant to be doing instead of tooloing around on here? Lots. But I have a cunning plan. I'm going to put it in the internal mail, addressed to me, in a minute. That way, it will take at least 'til Tuesday tilit blights my vision again.

                  Being a stealth genius in the modern civil service is hard work at times y'know.
                  Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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                  • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                    You Sir are a genius! Good show!

                    Also regarding your sig... M&S... I know I'm probably the youngest member in our group but I buy my garments from there...

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                    • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                      Hello Gov’ ere to do the drains.
                      Fack me !! Cor blimey this place is a bit hoity toity aint it ? They’ve gone all golden wonder in the blur dan ere an no mistake. Ere look at dat, they’ve got those chocolate cakes wiv little silverballs on top an everyfing. Bet they don’t got jellied eels !

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                      • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                        Lovely. A Devonian Pearly King. Would you mind, please use the tradesman's entrance, y'know round the back.

                        No sniggering there.

                        And wipe your bloody boots, or I'll set the hounds on you.
                        Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

                        Comment


                        • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                          Morning chaps, how are you all on this fine day? One finds oneself enjoying the cooler weather today.

                          Jeeves, fetch my morning Whiskey.

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                          • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                            Originally posted by Hawke View Post
                            Yeah, thanks for that.

                            Have you any idea how much work I'm meant to be doing instead of tooloing around on here? Lots. But I have a cunning plan. I'm going to put it in the internal mail, addressed to me, in a minute. That way, it will take at least 'til Tuesday tilit blights my vision again.

                            Being a stealth genius in the modern civil service is hard work at times y'know.
                            That my dear Hawke, is a plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it and call it weasel.

                            Quoting aside i heard there was a minor disturbance?, or was i dreaming.

                            I am also aware there is now a bit if a language barrier?

                            IF...YOU...CLEAN...OUR...DRAINS...WELL...WE...WILL ...GIVE...YOU...ONE...OF...THE...CHEAP...BISCUITS. ..RESIDING...AT...THE...BOTTOM...OF...THE...BISCUI T...TIN.

                            There thats that matter sorted.

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                            • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                              All my work related stuff is now back in the internal mail.

                              I am now contemplating a game of ceiling darts. I will explain this truly magnificent, yet little-known sport. First, you need a suspended ceiling, with square ceiling tiles. Secondly, you require a box (possibly two) of HMSO issue pencils. Grasping a pencil by the pointy end, flick it upwards in a short rapid movement at a designated ceiling tile. The idea is to get the pencil to stick in the tile. Repeat until the box is empty and the tile is full. Souns simple, but strangely, this requires both patience and an alarming degree of dexterity. The real trick, of course, is to do all this WITHOUT YOUR COLLEAGUES NOTICING. Good luck, and good shooting.
                              Any opinions expressed by me may not be mine. I don't have opinions anymore. I have a mortgage and teenagers. I used to be a wild, party animal. Now I buy my trousers at M & S.

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                              • Re: tw@t's on the field ..

                                Why good afternoon gentlemen what a lovely sunny day it is , i hope we wont be disturbed by anymore of these unfortunate peasants complaining again while we work on our sun tans .

                                Please pass the port old boy

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